I am totally going to get feedback from this, both positive & negative but it’s ok. I tell my truth & this is weighing on my heart this week. I recently had a virtual stranger send me a rude message because I didn’t respond to their message on their timeline. I responded back, “I did want to talk to you but had some crazy things come up. No worries.” Their response to that was that my response “wasn’t what they would expect from someone like me, especially someone who is a coach & motivator. Disappointing.” Seriously?!
My family has been going through a lot in the last few months. A whole lot. In addition to my already crazy life, this has added an overwhelming amount of work & stress. I’m frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, sad & sometimes angry that so much has been dumped on us. I know that doesn’t get me very far in this situation so I push it off. This also makes me not want to socialize or talk about it. I’m also excited, happy & thankful for a lot too. By not talking about the bad & only telling everyone about the good, I’m making it worse. I feel isolated & alone at times. No one knows the struggles because I don’t tell anyone. It’s a bad cycle. This is what I’ve learned to do. It’s not ok.
I don’t talk about a lot of it because it’s my nature to want to be optimistic, not complain & I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else because I’m well aware that everyone has their own issues. I don’t want to ask for help for several reasons. I know that part of it is because I have in my head what people expect of me. I know what I’m “supposed to be” because of the persona I have created. I don’t want to appear whiny or weak. Again- seriously?! Even reading that, I realize how ridiculous it is and I call bullshit. I don’t necessarily blame this individual for messaging what they did because the reality of it is that I have bought into this lame way of thinking myself. It needs to stop. This isn’t healthy.
The part about the comment that was made that wouldn’t let me disregard it like I should, was the part about being a coach & motivator. Since when did that take away my human element? I know that one of my strengths as a coach & teacher is the fact that I’ve been through enough crap and came out the other side to be able to relate & empathize with my clients and students. Trust me, I’ve been through stuff. Who hasn’t?
I’m a life coach. That doesn’t make me immune to the inevitable struggles & overwhelm of life. That’s almost like saying that police officers are immune from having crimes committed against them, doctors should never get sick & mechanics should never have a flat tire. Give me a break! What it does mean is that police are less likely to have that happen, mechanics can handle the flat tire & fix it easier than I could & I have learned to change my mindset, handle situations better & use the struggles to become stronger. I’ve learned & I can use my experience with my training to help others do it too. All of the education and training in the world will not take away the ability to feel what we feel. We’re supposed to feel.
Final thought for today- it’s ok to be human. Some of us never allow ourselves to embrace the suck. We don’t acknowledge or admit it for fear of being a burden or appearing weak. It’s an ugly cycle when we allow ourselves to deny our emotions & cover them when we start thinking there’s something wrong with us for feeling it. You unpack the baggage & move on. You can’t unpack and live there. It’s life! No one escapes without dealing with some difficult stuff & no one gets out alive. Stop saying you’re ok if you’re not. Ask for help. Take a break & admit the struggle. Set your boundaries. You are stronger for working through it and learning from each experience gives you an edge for next time. GASP! Yes, there will be a next time. I’m trying really hard to take my own advice. Just know you are loved in all of your struggles & imperfections. I promise, you are not alone.
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